Penguins of Madagascar
Like the rats in the Muppet films the penguins serve as amusing minor characters in the otherwise unremarkable Madagascar series. While entertaining in small doses it remains to be seen whether these comedy birds can hold their own in a film. I just hope John Lewis have had the forethought to place their Christmas ad in front of every screening. Synergy!
Men, Women & Children
Jason Reitman’s latest has performed terribly in America and quite rightly so. This film about the horrors of the internet is patronising, fear mongering, and boring. I did not enjoy.
Get Santa
It’s hard to get annoyed by a family friendly Christmas film starring Jim Broadbent as an imprisoned Santa who brings a father and son closer together. That said I don’t feel the need to watch this one. Ever.
Black Sea
Jude Law in a submarine.
St. Vincent
A comedy starring Bill Murray! I love Bill Murray! Not in the way the rest of you do though. Our love is special.
Me, Myself and Mum
Easily the best comedy I have seen in a long, long time. The autobiographical story of French comedian Guillaume Gallienne’s relationship with his mother, his childhood, and his search for a sexual identity. Gallienne plays both himself and his mother in a fantastically convincing manner a million miles away from how a British comedy would utilise a man in drag. I loved it and so will you.
Bonobo
British comedy drama in which a mother and daughter spend a day with a commune who live their lives based on the behaviours of the bonobo ape. Expect lots of nudity and a monkey if you’re lucky.
The Pyramid
Western horror set in Egypt. Expect low budget scares and questionable casual racism. Oh, and that guy from The Inbetweeners.
Eastern Boys
Erotic thriller about a French businessman and the Eastern European hustler he takes home with him. Love! Intrigue! Europe!
The Grandmaster
“The story of martial-arts master Ip Man, the man who trained Bruce Lee.”
Action Jackson
Let’s not get bogged down in the plot. Let’s just appreciate how fun it is to say the title out loud.
Montana
A Serbian assassin takes on a teenage apprentice as he fights a crime lord in London’s East End in the BBC’s most ludicrous episode of EastEnders ever.
Mea culpa
An acknowledgement of one’s fault or error.
Hello Carter
This is embarrassing. I saw Hello Carter a year ago at the London Film Festival and was so unaffected by it that I forgot to write a review. Not terrible but not one that I actually remember watching either.
Mild Concern 