Out Now – 3rd December 2010

Hey, haven’t seen you in a while. I’m going to end the four day silence in honour of Leslie Nielson that was in no way completely accidental and due to laziness. Buy hey films are out today and I reviewed a DVD for you too. SPOILER ALERT: I did not enjoy it.

As much as I can figure from the trailer a bad guy become a good guy with hilarious results. A solid 70% on Rotten Tomatoes means not many hate it and everyone else is probably only lukewarm but hey Rotten Tomatoes only has two choices for each review, rotten or fresh, and that’s a totally balanced way to judge films.

It’s the home-made film sensation of the month. Special effects man made a film about monsters and it’s really good and made for no money. Everyone will love it and once again we’ll think that maybe films don’t have to cost loads to be good. Then Avatar 2 will come out and everyone will get all silly again.

Of Gods and Men
Who wants to see a French film about monks standing up for their beliefs? Well, actually, maybe.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
The Christmas film with attitude that has created a bit of buzz for itself and is going nationwide. We’ve even seen and reviewed it as part of the London Film Festival bonanza.

It’s a film about a horse. And women. Not like that.

The Warrior’s Way
“A warrior-assassin is forced to hide in a small town in the American Badlands after refusing a mission.” Not even Geoffrey Rush could tempt me.

Bathory (limited release)
Anna Friel plays a countess assassin in a film only on at one cinema in London. Boo! London! (I love you really)

The Be All & End All (limited release)
“At fifteen, Robbie has only one thing on his mind – losing his virginity. The problem is that he’s in hospital with a fatal heart condition. And who has to overcome the odds and help him fulfill his final wish? His best friend Ziggy.” I’ll meet you at the cinema, whoever gets there first should get the tickets.

Easier with Practice (limited release)
Indie road trip movie in which a guy starts a relationship with a girl over the phone. Sounds like The Go-Getter but without Zooey Deschanel, Lou Taylor Pucci or Jena Malone. Wonder if that’s on DVD…

Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen (limited release)
The plot confuses me but I figure you can tell if you’d like the film just from the title.

Miral (limited release)
“A drama centered on an orphaned Palestinian girl growing up in the wake of the first Arab-Israeli war who finds herself drawn into the conflict.” Lots of praise for Miral and yet we missed it at the Film Festival, go see it and take me with you.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale – Review

Nobody seems to know what Rare Exports is, including the BFI box office, which issued tickets printed with “Rare Exploits“. Part comic horror, part bloody fairy tale, ingredients include an evil Santa Claus, boys with guns, gingerbread biscuits, a pinch of swearing and lots of naked old men. It seems an unlikely recipe for a children’s movie but on balance that’s what this Finnish film delivers.

When a foreign mining company sets up shop near a small, reindeer-hunting community, only young Pietari (Omni Tommila) believes that it’s Santa Claus who is being dug up. After some research, he realises this is not a good thing. Creepy, funny and occasionally poignant, the film, which was born from two internet shorts, suffers a little from its confused genre. Elements are set up with the potential to be a lot more frightening than they actually are, leaving this reviewer cringing in expectation of more violence that never comes. Overall though, it’s an enjoyably macabre trip through Finland’s snowy open lands, with an endearing performance from its young lead.

One question was left hanging in the frozen air: where were all the women? Pietari makes reference to an absent (presumed dead) mother and another character mentions his wife’s missing hairdryer but as a whole, women are made conspicuous by their absence.

Rare Exports has a release date of 3rd December. Assuming the BBFC don’t bump up its rating to a 15, take some not-too-easily-scared pre-teens to get into the Christmas spirit without the commercial veneer.