Top 10 Films of 2012

2012

It’s finally here! Welcome to my obligatory annual blogger’s list in which I try to rank incomparable films that share one thing in common – a 2012 UK release date. I tried to limit myself to just 10 films this year after finding 20 a bit too many in 2011. I managed to whittle my list down to 10, then added two I felt I just couldn’t leave out. It’s my top 10, I can have 12 if I want to.

12 - Holy Motors

Holy Motors starts the list in a cautious manner. I slept through a lot of the film and confessed as much in my review. Watching a famously mind-boggling film in French while half asleep was a terrifying experience. I could barely read the subtitles and would often wake up to find the lead actor was playing a different character to when I was last conscious.

The film follows a mysterious man as he travels between appointments in a stretch limo. What appointments are these? I couldn’t even begin to explain. Suffice to say that each time the limo stops a different character step out to play a minor or major role in someone elses lives. The end is so bizarre I thought I had actually dreamt it. One of the Jo(h)ns I saw the film with has tirelessly defended it over the past three months and I couldn’t not include it in my extended top 10. In Jon’s own words:

“It came out of nowhere, it was beautiful, strange, intriguing and was utterly compelling even though I don’t think I really understood it. Just like a girl I used to fancy.”

No other film on this list includes two erect penises.

11 - The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

How could I not? This film about a retirement home in India catering only to British actors of the finest pedigree. It was a film featuring both Dame Judi and Maggie, comprised of a myriad of storylines and was consistently funny and touching for the entirety of its two-hour running film.

Many have said that the success of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is down to its ability to pick up the grey pound. While I admit that this is one of very few films last year that could be said to specifically cater to the older generation I think the appeal expands far beyond the wrinkled amongst us. As I exited the screening at 20th Century Fox in Soho Square (ahem) I instantly texted both my mum and my sister (such is the life of the single blogger) to let them know that their new favourite film was hitting cinemas in a couple of months.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a warm hug that everyone can enjoy and famously (well, not really) made me want to whisk Judi Dench off to India and retire in a dilapidated hotel.

And now for the proper Top 10: Continue reading

Out Now – 25th May 2012

Men in Black III
You can get bogged down in the fact that this is a threequel to a film released way back in 1997, that the first sequel was pretty terrible, and that it is in the scourge of the decade – 3D. I’d much rather focus on the fact that the film features both Emma Thompson and Jemaine Clement and get a little bit excited.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Five couples having babies experience comedy drama through interconnecting plot stories. It’s the comedy for people at the stage in their life when everyone around them seems to be pregnant. With a cast of thousands (almost) this feels like a pregnant version of He’s Just Not That Into You and that was an awful film.

Moonrise Kingdom
Wes Anderson is back! A bit of a Marmite director, Anderson is either the king of film or an idiot hipster making dull, smug films. I think he is wonderful and can’t wait to see this latest release in which a young boy and girl run away together with a search party in their wake. Guaranteed to be visually pleasing, tightly written, and to have Bill Murray in funky trousers.

Tales Of The Night (limited release)
Six short stories told in a beautiful silhouette animation style. Why not read Kat’s review where she gushes about the visuals, rants about the 3D, and gets annoyed by the “wet” female characters.

Free Men (limited release)
During World War II an Algerian in Paris makes friends with a Jewish man and joins the resistance against the Nazis. Imagine ‘Allo ‘Allo! with some moderate violence.

Barbaric Genius (limited release)
“The remarkable story of John Healy’s rise from wino and street thief to chess master and award-winning author.” Turns out his book was about his time as a wino: the Russell Brand of 1988.

Personal Best (limited release)
Filmed over four years this documentary follows British sprinters as they train and compete with the aim to join the team for the 2012 Olympics. Coming out just before the Olympics this documentary is in danger of lacking an ending.