Out Now – 26th September 2014

Map of the Stars

The Equalizer
Edward Woodward has regenerated into Denzel Washington in this remake of a TV series that I am too young to remember. One day our children will watch a remake of Hot Fuzz and wonder who Denzel Washington is.

What We Did on Our Holiday
Having successfully avoided all promotional material for this UK comedy I am relying on my gut for judgement. My gut has taken a look at the casting combination of David Nativity 2 Tennant, Billy Gulliver’s Travels Connolly, and Rosamund Hector and the Search for Happiness Pike and decided we should all steer clear.

Maps to the Stars
David Cronenberg continues to be searingly relevant with a drama exploring the seduction of fame and celebrity featuring a cast of talented names like Julianne Moore, Robert Pattinson, and Mia Wasikowska. Consider this the anti-What We Did on Our Holiday.

I Origins
New sci-fi drama with a vague synopsis from the man whose mind made the exceedingly good Another Earth. A scientific discovery changes EVERYTHING. In a low budget sort of fashion.

Ida
A trainee nun in 1960s Poland discovers a shocking secret about her family that dates back to the time of the Nazis. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this has nothing to do with the Trapp family drama that went on in nearby Austria.

The Last Impresario
Documentary about “the most famous person you have never heard of”; Michael White. I can certainly confirm that the latter half of that description is right.

Human Capital
Italian drama about the fallout of betrayal, bad investments, and bedtime antics. Read my hastily written review here or just know that while the review is badly written the film is not.

Honeymoon
Interesting horror about a newly-wed couple whose honeymoon is disrupted by things going bump in the night. Not those things. Spooky things.

Relationship Status: It’s Complicated
“Add a plot”.

Out Now – 17th February 2012

What follows is an entirely unhelpful rundown of this week’s releases. I had a Red Bull earlier in the day if that helps explain things.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
The Cage is back as Johnny Blaze, a man who occasionally becomes little more than a flaming skull riding around on a motorbike – and he’s the good guy. While InterRailing in Europe (maybe) Johnny Blaze is called to action to help stop the devil taking human form. If there’s one thing worse than disembodied evil, it’s embodied evil, presumably. HIS HEAD IS ON FIRE! IN 3D!

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
I’ve been trying to figure out why this film feels so familiar to me, then I realised that I’m constantly being told (at home, at work, on the Tube), “Tim, you are extremely loud and incredibly close, please step back.” But this film is not about my lack of respect for vocal moderation and personal space, wonderful though that film would be, instead we have a story about a young boy who is looking for a lock to go with the key left behind by his father who died during 9/11. The reviews have been brutal, but not as brutal as having me standing next to you on a train, explaining directly to your eardrum why Footloose is the greatest film ever made.

The Woman in the Fifth (limited release)
Having the most awkward film title of the week the same day that Hadewijch comes out is quite an achievement. Ethan Hawke and Kristin Scott Thomas play a scandalised lecturer and widow/potential murderer who meet in Paris and get romantically entangled.

Position Among the Stars (limited release)
“Through the eyes of grandmother Rumidjah, a poor old Christian woman living in the slums of Jakarta, we see the economical changing society of Indonesia and the influence of globalization reflected in the life of her juvenile granddaughter Tari and her sons Bakti and Dwi.”

ID:A (limited release)
Danish film about a woman who wakes up in a river with no memory and is forced to run from mysterious strangers and try to remember what is going on. We’ve all been there, I’ll never forget the time I woke up as a Danish woman in a river, it took forever to get home.

Hadewijch (London West End only)
If Wikipedia is to be believed (and when it comes to film plots it really should be) this French drama, about a fanatic Christian kicked out of a nunnery for having too much blind faith, takes a crazy turn towards the end. Shame only Londoners are allowed to see it.