Out Now – 28th November 2014

2001 A Space Odyssey

It hasn’t even been a full year since Frozen was first released but it is back in cinemas, and on DVD of course, for you to enjoy once more. This means that for the second Christmas in a row everyone will be singing Let it Go endlessly without realising the irony of their persistent karaoke.

Horrible Bosses 2
Sexist, racist, homophobic, and unfunny. What more could you ask for? Maybe a better standard of comedy for a start. I did not like this one.

The polite marmalade obsessed Peruvian immigrant gets a live action feature film of his very own. Will it be childish nonsense or a charming masterpiece? Reviews are wildly positive so it looks to be the latter.

2001: A Space Odyssey
Forget Frozen, this is the re-release worth given a second look this week. As part of the BFI’s sci-fi season Kubrick’s epic entry into the genre is back in cinemas. Try for a double bill with Interstellar and let me know how your brain reacts.

I Am Ali
This is Ali.

Kajaki: The True Story
British war drama set in Afghanistan centering on three soldiers crossing a river bed riddled with mines. Expect as many jokes as in Horrible Bosses 2.

Bollywood comedy drama in which “a gang of friends decide to take justice into their own hands.”

Stations of the Cross
A 14-year-old girl is so devoted to Jesus she tries to become a saint by going through her own 14 stations. Interestingly the film is made up of only 14 shots. Intriguing…

Concerning Violence
Documentary concerning violence and “the most daring moments in the struggle for liberation from colonial rule.”

I’ll let you guess… Go on… Correct!

Dr. Cabbie
An Indian doctor moves to Canada and fails to get a job as a doctor so becomes a taxi driver instead. Naturally he starts seeing patients in his taxi.

Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno
Japanese drama about people fighting with swords. Fighting each other with swords. Not them fighting against swords. I’m glad we’ve cleared that up.

Out Now – 6th December 2013


Alexander Payne provides his signature blend of comedy and drama in this black and white road trip about father and son relationships, growing old, and being scammed by junk mail. In my review I call the film “perfect” but in hindsight that all seems a little bit too positive. What did you see Past-Tim?

“A former DEA agent moves his family to a quiet town, where he soon tangles with a local meth druglord.” The DEA agent is played by Jason Statham which does not appeal but the druglord is played by James Franco who endlessly intrigues me. I’m so conflicted. And Sylvester Stallone wrote the script!? I’m so confused.

Disney Animation, no Pixar involvement here, bring us the story of a snowman who teams up with some kids to help them find their sister in a kingdom of eternal winter. If he melts at the end I will cry.

When he’s not asking for your money on Kickstarter these days Spike Lee is producing unnecessary remakes of much-loved film and ripping off graphic designers in the process. I say we boycott! (Mostly because I haven’t even seen the original yet.)

Black Nativity
“A street-wise teen from Baltimore who has been raised by a single mother travels to New York City to spend the Christmas holiday with his estranged relatives, where he embarks on a surprising and inspirational journey.” Strange things happen at Christmas…

Selena Gomez and Ethan Hawke team up in an action thriller. The whole thing seems quite bizarre. I don’t really know how to deal with Ethan Hawke when he’s not romancing Julie Delphy.

Big Bad Wolves
“A series of brutal murders puts the lives of three men on a collision course: The father of the latest victim now out for revenge, a vigilante police detective operating outside the boundaries of law, and the main suspect in the killings – a religious studies teacher arrested and released due to a police blunder.” Are the three men the three little pigs, or are they the big bad wolves? This metaphor confuses me.

Floating Skyscrapers
Tragic gay love story from Poland that is as graphic in its sex and its violence. The film is solid, and ground breaking for its country of origin, but I struggled to connect to any of the characters.

Kill Your Darlings
Murder! Sex! Drugs! Poetry! It’s the origins of the beat generation mixed with a murder mystery! Ultimately the film was a little too meandering for me and could have done with a little more meter and rhyme. What I just did there is a clever joke that I don’t quite understand.

This Ain’t California
Documentary about the world of roller boarding in the German Democratic Republic. I am almost 100% sure that roller boarding is just another way of saying skateboarding. Imagine your Dad were trying to sound cool and wasn’t quite sure of the word… now you get it!

Rough Cut
“A documentary about the making of the fictitious 1970s exploitation film Hiker Meat.” That’s right, a documentary about a fictitious film. I’d call that a mockumentary but the director prefers to call it “a ‘metamentary’, stripping back the making, unmaking and remaking of both the film and the idea”. If at all possible I will be seeing this film.

Powder Room
British comedy set in the women’s toilets. I’m afraid to see this as it would ruin the mystique built up over years of wondering just why the facilities are worth queuing for.

Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf’s
“A documentary on the Manhattan department store with interviews from an array of fashion designers, style icons, and celebrities.” I can only assume that Bergdorf’s is America’s version of BHS.

Danish comedy about a man who kidnaps the nephew of his pregnant girlfriend to prove that he will make a good father and takes him along on a debauched canoeing trip. Oh Denmark!

A Long Way from Home
“A couple realise their dream of retiring to the South of France. Their life changes dramatically when they meet another, younger couple.”

Out Now – 24th September 2010

Lots of films means lots of Googling for me. Let’s see what I found…

Eat Pray Love
Over two hours of watching Julia Roberts on holiday. She’ll start off upset then be smiling all round Bali while making gooey eyes at Javier Bardem.

Peepli Live
This week’s Hindi film. Something about politics, land and a threat of suicide.

The Town
A gritty, intense, action thriller, or so say the various quotes on the poster. It looks a bit pants to me but the reviews are good… and there’s Jon Hamm.

True Legend
The synopsis includes reference to a form of martial arts called “Drunken Boxing”. Odd. In 3D!

The Wildest Dream
One man goes up everest and 75 years later another man finds his frozen corpse. Erm, spoiler alert?

Budrus (limited release)
Documentary and lazy copy and pasting time! “Follows a Palestinian leader who unites Fatah, Hamas and Israelis in an unarmed movement to save his village from destruction. Success eludes them until his 15-year-old daughter jumps into the fray.”

Confucius (limited release)
Confucius say, biopic about ancient philosopher not going to sell many tickets.

Dragon Hunters (limited release)
A seemingly forgotten animated film limps its way into UK cinemas years after coming out on DVD in the US. It is, surprisingly, about two dragon hunters.

Enter the Void (limited release)
A kid deals drugs, dies and comes back as a ghost to look over his sister. Or haunt her I guess.

Frozen (limited release)
Three people get stuck on a ski lift. One user on IMDb warns, “The film is pretty intense”. Be careful.

World’s Greatest Dad (limited release)
Or this week’s greatest film.