Out Now – 23rd April 2010

Holy crap there’s loads out today and some of it looks like it might be quite good. I still need to see Cemetery Junction though.

A Spanish historical drama in English set in ancient Egypt. It’s about Rachel Weisz or at least stars her and is either very good if you believe IMDb or mediocre if you believe Rotten Tomatoes. I’m not a fan of historical dramas so I don’t think I’ll be seeing it.

Speaking of historical dramas here we have one filmed in glorious Surrey. If you ever wondered what happened to the missing Roman Ninth Legion go see this! If not then I wouldn’t waste your money.

The Joneses
It’s a family in suburbia who appear perfect but have a secret! If you haven;t seen enough Desperate Housewives lately then someone made a film for you. Sarcasm aside David Duchovney and Amber Heard make me more than a little curious.

I am almost certain this comes out today. I am even more certain this was written by Mike Judge,who gained god status with Office Space, and stars Jason Bateman and Mila Kunis. If it’s not at least mildly entertaining I’ll eat my hat made of bread.

Cherrybomb (on limited release)
Ooer Ron from Harry Potter is kissing a girl and giving her a naked hug! A film so good it failed to find a distributor until fans campaigned wildly for fear of missing out on the chance to see if Grint’s carpet matches his drapes.

Dogtooth (on limited release)
Supposedly sick and horrifying while being clever and satirical. Expect graphic sex and/or violence presented as a comment on some sort of social ailment. If you see it you’ll have to pretend to understand it or look like a right pervert.

Life During Wartime (on limited release)
Allison Janney! It’s only Allison Janney of the telly box! This may be a terrible film but it has one of my favourite underused actresses in it. Bring back The West Wing.