Out Now – 19th December 2014

Apologies for recent slackness on the blogging front. December is a busy month. Rest assured that I will have my top 10 films of 2014 for you before the year is out. As for the films from last week let’s just say that you should ignore The Hobbit and see The Great Museum instead.

Dumb and Dumber To
Twenty years (TWENTY!!!) after the original comedy about two dumb friends was released we have a sequel. I am skeptical as to how well the jokes will work two decades later and can’t quite understand why this film was made. For that reason I’m out.

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb
American comedies seem to aspire to trilogies these days and Night at the Museum today successfully completes its transition from a mediocre 2006 comedy to a full-blown trilogy. This time the museum is in London which makes me mildly less apathetic about it all.

Guys and Dolls
Re-release of the classic 1950s musical comedy starring Marlon Brando, Frank Sinatra, Jean Simmons, and Vivian Blaine. I realise that I am prejudging the previous two films but my uninformed and biased recommendations would be to see a classic musical this week.

Kon-Tiki
“Legendary explorer Thor Heyerdal’s epic 4,300-mile crossing of the Pacific on a balsa wood raft in 1947, in an effort prove that it was possible for South Americans to settle in Polynesia in pre-Columbian times.”

P.K.
Lengthy fantasy comedy drama from India about a man who asks questions no one has ever asked before. I’ll admit it, I am curious to find out what questions he is going to ask.

Out Now – 5th December 2014

Penguins of Madagascar
Like the rats in the Muppet films the penguins serve as amusing minor characters in the otherwise unremarkable Madagascar series. While entertaining in small doses it remains to be seen whether these comedy birds can hold their own in a film. I just hope John Lewis have had the forethought to place their Christmas ad in front of every screening. Synergy!

Men, Women & Children
Jason Reitman’s latest has performed terribly in America and quite rightly so. This film about the horrors of the internet is patronising, fear mongering, and boring. I did not enjoy.

Get Santa
It’s hard to get annoyed by a family friendly Christmas film starring Jim Broadbent as an imprisoned Santa who brings a father and son closer together. That said I don’t feel the need to watch this one. Ever.

Black Sea
Jude Law in a submarine.

St. Vincent
A comedy starring Bill Murray! I love Bill Murray! Not in the way the rest of you do though. Our love is special.

Me, Myself and Mum
Easily the best comedy I have seen in a long, long time. The autobiographical story of French comedian Guillaume Gallienne’s relationship with his mother, his childhood, and his search for a sexual identity. Gallienne plays both himself and his mother in a fantastically convincing manner a million miles away from how a British comedy would utilise a man in drag. I loved it and so will you.

Bonobo
British comedy drama in which a mother and daughter spend a day with a commune who live their lives based on the behaviours of the bonobo ape. Expect lots of nudity and a monkey if you’re lucky.

The Pyramid
Western horror set in Egypt. Expect low budget scares and questionable casual racism. Oh, and that guy from The Inbetweeners.

Eastern Boys
Erotic thriller about a French businessman and the Eastern European hustler he takes home with him. Love! Intrigue! Europe!

The Grandmaster
“The story of martial-arts master Ip Man, the man who trained Bruce Lee.”

Action Jackson
Let’s not get bogged down in the plot. Let’s just appreciate how fun it is to say the title out loud.

Montana
A Serbian assassin takes on a teenage apprentice as he fights a crime lord in London’s East End in the BBC’s most ludicrous episode of EastEnders ever.

Mea culpa
An acknowledgement of one’s fault or error.

Hello Carter
This is embarrassing. I saw Hello Carter a year ago at the London Film Festival and was so unaffected by it that I forgot to write a review. Not terrible but not one that I actually remember watching either.